Unapologetically Human

I chase stillness

think holiness means serenity

detachment

a marble monk in a museum

I wear peace like a pastel robe

a starch sage with ironed creases

stitching serenity into the frayed seams

while uncertainty knocks politely at the door

I leave it waiting on the porch

because I believe

a sādhak shouldn’t feel that way

But I do

I get sad

I crave applause

I forget to listen

I regret decisions

I remember too late

Sometimes I want

to win

more than I want

to love.

And yet

here I am

not a floating wisp of light

but a body

with bones that break

and a heart that howls

and hands that reach

for what they cannot hold

I used to think ego was the enemy

but I see now

it’s a mask God wears

to play the part

and once I stop resisting the role

maybe the Actor will appear

I’d like to think

the eternal doesn’t discriminate

but moves

through laughter and tears

through hunger

through contradiction

Perhaps

being human

isn’t a problem

to solve

I am not here to transcend

what I am

I am here to be

what I am

fully

fiercely

unapologetically…

human.